Elope Definition - What does it mean to “Elope” ?
I googled this question, just for the heck of it and the first result is this; ‘to run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent.’ Does this still happen? Sure. Could this still be relevant in some situations? Sure. Is this the general understanding and definition of eloping in 2019? Nope.
Lets jump right in with a personal story passed down from my grandparents, then jump to what it means to Elope now, in the 21st century.
The first time I ever heard the word ‘elope’ was from my sweet Grandmother, sharing the story of how she and my grandfather eloped, way back in the day. Their reason for eloping wasn’t to hide from the family or because they didn’t want to share their celebration with loved ones, but more so out of necessity. They had originally planned a wedding, but my great Grandfather passed away un-expectantly right around the time that my grandparents were planning to have a wedding.
My grandparents chose not to have a big wedding, but instead go to the, ‘JP’ as my grandmother always said. So my grandparents went to the Justice of The Peace, only to find out that they needed to have an ordained minister, so they found the nearest church that had a parish attached to it. They knocked on the door and asked if the preacher was home, and explained that they were getting married right then and needed a minister and two witnesses.
The pastor married my grandparents, Samuel and Barbara with the help of his two daughters being witnesses. My grandparents later went to Florida for their honeymoon, I’ll never forget my grandfather always laughing about how where they stayed didn’t have central AC, it was coin operated so he had to constantly get quarters, cause it was so hot.
I grew up hearing this story so many times and I’ll never get tired of it. Sometimes when I’m photographing an elopement, it’s crazy to think that my own grandparents eloped and how much weddings and traditions have evolved an changed since then.
People elope for different reasons, there isn’t a right or wrong way to do it. There’s just the best way for you and your honey and that’s the way you should do it.
So what does it mean to Elope in 2019? How do you define “Elopement” ?
An Elopement is rooted in the celebration of the couple, their life, their love and journey to choosing marriage. It’s setting aside any expectation from family, friends or bloody social media and professing your love and commitment to each other.
You can go all out if you want to and elope on the top of a mountain or you can elope in your backyard, it doesn’t matter, both are equally valuable and have JUST as much meaning. I mean this with 100% of my heart. I would never turn down a backyard intimate wedding or elopement to book a helicopter elopement, just cause one will trend better on instagram.
When you Elope it’s more about the experience for you and the few people that you’ve invited.
You’re creating memories throughout the entire length of your Elopement.
Moments that are not rushed by a tight timeline or being carted around to multiple locations for commercial photos.
You’re having real conversations with the people that you love, heaps of hugs, smiles and the time to take it all in.
Eloping is not about excluding as many people as you can, but instead intentionally including the people that have been part of your life, part of your journey, that know you, and support you on a personal level.
The people that will have your back when times are hard.
The people that will be there with you to experience the joys in life.
Those are the people that get to be at your elopement, not your 3rd cousin twice removed whom
you’ve never even met.
And I totally get it, family dynamics can be difficult and the pressure to please family and friends is so real and so hard at times, but if you’re feeling that stress already, making the choice to Elope IS the right decision.
You don’t have to leave your family and friends out. I’ll be sharing another blog post on this soon, but you can always still include your family and friends in a celebration. You can still make them feel loved, valued and part of your marriage, your commitment, but it doesn’t have to be physically on your Elopement day.